Many of you have known throughout the years that I struggle with depression, particularly in relation to being a stay-at-home mom. It has probably led some people to think that I never wanted to be a mom, wasn't truly committed to motherhood, didn't know how to be a mother or was, quite simply, a bad mom.
It hurts to know that people have probably thought these things about me, but I know what caused it. Many of us have purposely lived in reaction to the feminist movement, attempting to reclaim the nobility of motherhood and proclaim that nobility to our modern world. Unfortunately, like most who have endeavored this, we have held alot of false assumptions about motherhood. These assumptions led all of us (including me) to believe that anyone who has a hard time with motherhood, either in theory or in practice, must be lacking in character.
I know I've mentioned this post to some of you before, but I would like to ask you to read it in its entirety (with my usual disclaimer about not necessarily endorsing other content on the linked-to site):
This (even before any health issues) has been my interior life as a mother, since the beginning, and it is in fact the interior life of 99% of the mothers that I have ever met. This is why I fell into depression, this is why I tried to escape the depression by focusing on other things (business endeavors, etc) and the conclusions she reaches in this article are the very reasons I've finally been able to see motherhood through the lens of relationship rather than a list of tasks. Because the relationships are the only significant contribution I can make. In the modern world, relationships are the only thing left that really counts on me for survival. As the post says: if I wasn't here, everyone would still eat, have clothes, etc.
I share this for two reasons: to set the record straight on my own mothering and to help anyone else who may be facing this and feeling that it makes them a bad mother. I pray God's peace for every mother -- today and always.